Poker Face

Poker Chips

I’m not much of a card player but I do think I’d be awesome on one of those poker TV shows.  Why?  Because I think the whole stoic poker face strategy is way overrated.  As for me, I would do just the opposite.  I would totally mess with my opponents’ heads by being as expressive and annoying as possible.  Let me explain.

I would start by humming Kenny Rogers songs.  This would subtly convince the other players that I am indeed a professional gambler.  Then, whenever I got a new card, I would say things like: “cha-ching,” “holy cow,” “YES!” or “Why me, God, why?”

Next, as the tournament heated up, I’d ramp up my game with some of the following techniques:  Pick up my cell phone, call a lawyer and begin bankruptcy procedures.  Sing the Hallelujah chorus at the top of my lungs.  Hop on the table and do the “running man.”  Weep uncontrollably.

Continue reading