I’m not much of a card player but I do think I’d be awesome on one of those poker TV shows. Why? Because I think the whole stoic poker face strategy is way overrated. As for me, I would do just the opposite. I would totally mess with my opponents’ heads by being as expressive and annoying as possible. Let me explain.
I would start by humming Kenny Rogers songs. This would subtly convince the other players that I am indeed a professional gambler. Then, whenever I got a new card, I would say things like: “cha-ching,” “holy cow,” “YES!” or “Why me, God, why?”
Next, as the tournament heated up, I’d ramp up my game with some of the following techniques: Pick up my cell phone, call a lawyer and begin bankruptcy procedures. Sing the Hallelujah chorus at the top of my lungs. Hop on the table and do the “running man.” Weep uncontrollably.