Superman had Lex Luthor.  Batman had the Joker.  Holmes had Moriarty.   And me?  I had the high school life guards at the public swimming pool.  Though their names and faces changed over time, they were my elementary school arch-enemies, my nemeses, my thorns in the flesh, every last one of them.   They solely existed to ruin my fun and humiliate me in front of my friends.   

Not that I’m bitter.

Sometimes, though, I still wake up in a cold sweat, imagining I’ve heard their whistles and fascist voices barking orders in the middle of the night.  No running!  No cannonballs!  No diving into the baby pool!  No breathing!    

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