Humiliation Is Good For the Soul

A couple of years ago, I had some stomach pains that my doctor thought might be my gall bladder acting up, so he told me he wanted me to get an ultrasound.

“A what?” I asked.

“An ultrasound,” he said.

“Like pregnant women get?”

“Exactly.”

“But I’m a guy,” I reminded him.

He handed me a piece of paper with a phone number and told me to go make the appointment. I did not want to obey doctor’s orders, but my stomach was killing me, so what could I do?

I showed up at the medical complex a few days later dreading the appointment. I have two daughters and have been through joy-filled ultrasounds with each one. I somehow doubted this one would be quite the same.

I prayed that God would at least send me an elderly nurse who’d done this a million times. Instead, God laughed at me and sent me a girl who looked like she’d just graduated college and moved out of her sorority house earlier that day. I had the feeling I was the first man she’d had for this particular procedure, and I was sure her friends would get a big laugh from her Facebook post as soon as I left the office.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, I thought. Maybe there’s a special non-humiliating ultrasound they do for men.

When she dimmed the lights and made me take off my shirt, I knew I was out of luck. She reached into a cabinet and brought out the clear belly jelly they keep in what looks like an old-fashioned diner mustard bottle. Oh, Lord, I prayed, not the jelly. I’d seen it done to my wife many times, but, just to remind you again, I’m a guy. The only jelly I want on my stomach is from a Krispy Kreme doughnut I’ve eaten too fast on the way to church.

With no sympathy for my total degradation, the nurse smeared the jelly on me and began to scan me with the ultrasound wand.

“Is it a boy?” I asked. She wasn’t amused. “I think I felt it kick,” I said. Again, nothing. I wanted to grab the ultrasound wand, tap it like a microphone and say, “Is this thing on?”

Instead, I gave up my attempts to break the awkward silence and just laid there and let the nurse do her job. All the while, I couldn’t help thinking of what a great sense of humor God has.

People frequently ask, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”, but no one ever thinks to ask, “Why do funny things happen to good people? Ridiculous things?”

Maybe it’s God’s way of saying, lighten up. Stop taking yourself so seriously. You’re not in control here; I am. Just relax and enjoy the life I gave you.

The responsibilities of the grown-up world can wear us out fast. On the days when we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders, let’s remember the One who carries the weight of the universe on His. He’s not fretting about the outcome of tomorrow, so why should we?

So, the next time you find yourself in a ridiculous situation, stop and enjoy a good laugh with God. He’s not laughing at you. He’s laughing near you.

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